How to be bold when quite frankly you’re shit scared…
To prioritise the priorities (see the previous blog) you need to be bold. Saying no requires courage and clarity.
Let’s start with clarity. In the previous blog, you identified what matters to you. You then split that down into more detail. If you haven’t done that yet then go do it now. Once you’re clear on who & what needs your time, know that if you ‘steal’ any allocated time from another person/ task that matters to you and give to another person/ task, it will impact the balance and flow.
For example, I love my clients but they don’t comfort me when I’m feeling down or upset (my partner, mum or friends do) but if I spend more time on my clients it impacts the quality of my relationships with my partner, family and friends and they start to question why they should hang about with me. The exception to that is my mum, as she’s kind of in it for the long haul… Equally, if I spend lots of time with my partner it impacts the time I can spend with others. Furthermore, the more time I spend with my partner or others results in less time I can spend on my business which impacts the ability to pay my bills and afford a holiday. Lastly, the less time I spend on nourishing and energising myself results in a crabbit* accountant with a very unhealthy diet and my inability to tune into what my clients really need. Not a good recipe for a successful finance coaching business!
Hopefully, you get a bigger picture of what you need now and what boundaries you need to create in your business and in your life. It may only come with trial and error though but be bold enough to experiment and carve your own way.
How can you be bold when actually you’re really a frightened 5year old inside an adult body?
I’m actually giving that a lot of thought in my next book as my own life and business go through a few shifts but my advice is the following.
Step1: Get clear on what it is that is holding you back. Meditate, speak to a clean language or transformation coach, or chat it through with your partner/ best friend if you have such a great open relationship with them. Once you’re clear on what the fear is, you can then listen to the fear without judgement. In the resources that came with the book Successful Business Minds, I included a short meditation that can help. Equally, I have listed some great coaches and therapists who could help you at the back of the book, and there is also a chapter on time management in part 5 that you may find useful.
Step2: Decide whether that fear is something that is so great you’re prepared to give up your dreams for. Remember, no-one is making you do this. It’s your life & business so you get to choose. Making this type of decision will create more time and headspace so you can start enjoying life again.
Step3: If you are still wanting to reach for your dreams in spite of this fear, then be clear on what you want and how you’d like it to happen, and start having a conversation with the fear.
What does the fear think will happen?
What is the worst thing about that?
What else in your life now (or in the future) could help support that?
What else is it saying?
I would love to know how you get and if you have any fantastic tips that you would like to share, get in touch and I can interview you for the next book if you would like.
Until the next blog, take care and I wish you a super productive week.
© HM Coaching Ltd
*crabbit is a Scottish term for being bad-tempered.